A really hard post

I once wrote a post here about our miscarriage.  That was hard.  I think this is harder.  I don’t want to over-dramatize or over-spiritualize, the world has enough of that.  But I do want to be honest.  Authentic my friend Whitney calls it.

I started this blog as a young mom over ten years ago and it grew into a business.  I was thirty and had a new baby (finally) and was excited about homemaking and our growing family. My passion for decorating flourished.  My husband was very supportive. Our home was my lab. Over the years I have blogged about our family and home and later my clients and work as my business has grown.  I have tried to keep Christ at the center all of all I do and acknowledge the holy beauty in design and in building a home.  Truly building a home not just literally. Like it says in Proverbs you know, about a wise woman building not tearing down. So this is hard.

      A wise woman builds a house strong and doesn’t tear it down with her own hands ~Proverbs 14

To me a home is a nest for a family. A harbor.  A place to live out your story.  That is what is important.  The setting is just the background. Forgive me Lord (and y’all) if I have ever made stuff or decorating the home more important than the people that live in the walls.  Never my goal. My belief is a family and preservation of the family is the most important part of the home, more than wallpaper or paint, more than even fabric and slipcovers (bad joke).  THE FAMILY IS THE HOME.

So, it is with a heavy heart I tell you that my family is going through a hard transition, a divorce. (deep breath)

Just typing that word is hard, but not as hard as hearing it come out of my 5 year old’s sweet little mouth. I never thought this would happen to us even though my parents and grandparents are divorced.  I thought my husband and I weren’t perfect but were doing things different, better.  That at the core we were solid and could prevail any storm. Turns out I was wrong.  I don’t think it is wise to share details because of my children and just because of the intimate nature of this entire process.  You understand. Many of you know how grueling, how totally paralyzing and grief-filled this can be BUT I want to say a few things:

  • I know God hates divorce
  • I know children are scarred and hurt by divorce no matter how amicable or how loving parents can be, this saddens me and no doubt God to no end.  I hate that we are hurting them.
  • I know there are women in worse situations
  • I know we should do counseling
  • I know God is still God and He hasn’t abandoned me or my children or my husband
  • I know this world is broken and full of free will which causes bad decisions and pain
  • This is not my choice or decision
  • I don’t know everything

society6psalms

 

 

I don’t totally understand why or even see how this will work or play out but its happening and I wanted to be honest. I am obviously not perfect, I don’t think I have ever portrayed that but I have shown our pretty new house and smiling photos of my family, a cute curtains, on and on over the years.  Those were real and true.  But so is this separation and I need to just tell you. My readers.  People say “you know have no obligation, that is private” and they are right in a sense but many of you have come here to read about home and design for TEN YEARS, I think you deserve to know.

  MY HOME IS HURTING, this is going on. Details don’t matter.

Speaking of our home, as you know we moved into our new old home last summer, its beautiful, a dream home to me, but it can’t save a marriage and it means NOTHING, doesn’t even hold beauty hardly for me if we aren’t enjoying it as a family.  So the house is for sale. It just doesn’t even matter.  I never believed that a new house could make us happy (though excited and happy by it I admit) and I know as smart women you know and believe it too but let me just reiterate y’all:

    A house can’t make you happy.

Write it in cursive and pin it. There is nothing more true we must get into our decorating loving hearts. I would give it all up and live in a travel trailer if it could restore our family. I mean that (and not a cute airstream one with vintage decor, a nasty one). But my husband is ready to divorce. And the children and I are likely moving closer to their school and our support system. Please don’t mourn for me about the house.  It’s just a house. HOUSES DO NOT MATTER. But please do pray for my boys, and my mother and my in-laws and my husband. I know that slowly God will heal me and I will begin to see that the home can be more than just our nuclear family.  He will make beauty from ashes and give the boys and I a new sense of home and family. A “new normal” people call it.  My soul has screamed out at that idea but acceptance of a situation has to come. And a mama has to get back to work.  As many of you know it’s hard to be creative when you are hurting.  But the Lord and my clients have been gentle with me.  He truly is near the brokenhearted and crushed. And that is one reason I needed to write this post.  Because I need to get back to work.  Round Top is coming, Spring is coming,  projects need wrapping up. And it has seemed somewhat false to me to blog about the latest fabric at minted or ideas of a manly study, with this elephant in the room.  So truth and honesty.  And when you see me having a party or making something pretty please don’t judge.  It’s not easy to move on but it’s my talent and gift and what I need to do and what I want to do. I have to keep swimming. I hope to keep at Holly Mathis Interiors full time if possible.

So thank you to my friends and clients that have been supportive and encouraging on the hard days. Lots of love and grace. I haven’t been at my best and I own that and apologize for some business mistakes. But there has been grace. Bearing one another’s burdens has new meaning to me.  Do you know it truly physically feels better to tell others your hurt and pain and let them take some of the burden.  It feels a bit selfish sometimes but people who really love you want to do that. It’s empathy not sympathy. And the Bible tells us to do it.  My family and friends have been the hands and feet of Christ. Truly the Church.  (Even though going to church is hard right now, saving that for another post, they have been great too)  And God himself truly truly is close to the brokenhearted y’all.  He is. I want to leave you with this video from Brene Brown.  My friend Jill showed this too me I think the week before my world began to fall apart..So timely and so true. Hard things like this are sacred spaces. Thank you for not offering sandwiches.

scripture artwork by Society6

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Comments

  1. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m praying for your family.

    • I’ve been a long time reader and I knew something must have been going on when you didn’t blog for a while. My heart was beating hard when I read your recent post. You come across as a very strong, positive woman with a network of family and friends to support you. You’ll come out of this a new person- stronger, more determined and more passionate. My thoughts are with you and your family right now. Take each day as it comes.

  2. Holly, I’m so sorry that you are going through this difficult journey. I travelled the same path just last year. You will make it through. The Lord will help you as he helped me. I know you know that…but please believe it as well. And if I can do anything for you, please don’t hesitate to let me know. It’s a hard road to walk, and if I can help make it easier for you,I’d like to help. xoxo

  3. Holly, I am a long time reader and admirer of yours. I am so so sorry for all that you are going through. Wishing you lots of strength and inner peace.

  4. Lifting you up before the Father in Heaven,that he heal your broken heart and give you wisdom as you walked through this difficult time in your life. Praying blessings on you and your children.

  5. May the Lord be with you during this difficult time.

  6. So sorry, Holly. What a nightmare- you will get through it and your faith in God will be stronger. ‘Well, at least you….” Just kidding! Great video.
    My mom fought lung cancer for a year and died last summer. I completely kept it secret from my small number of readers- and felt guilty. But she was my most avid reader and we had to keep her encouraged. I really appreciate your honesty and openness. You never realize how many people may be facing similar problems and take strength by watching you as you turn to God and soldier through. Hang in there.

  7. Holly, my heart is breaking for you and your family. You are so brave to share your story. Thank you. I am praying for your heart, for your husband’s heart, and for your children especially. Praying for protection over them. Praying for your home to sell quickly. Oh girl, just praying praying praying. Thank you for reaching out and asking for prayer. May God wrap his loving arms around you and protect you from the enemy. xox, Emily

  8. Jennifer says:

    Oh Holly! My heart is aching for you and your sweet boys. I will be praying for you and your family.

  9. I am longtime fan of your blog and your business! Thank you for your authenticity and willingness to share- you totally did not owe it to us or anything to let us in on this, but I so appreciate it! So glad to hear that you will continue working & doing Holly Mathis Interiors full time. I will be praying for you and continuing to follow your journey! Thank you for the reminder that homes and curtains and slipcovers & all of this temporary stuff are not the most important things in life.

  10. I love you, dear one. All the way to your toes.

  11. Praying for you, Holly…

  12. Holly, I am one of those readers from back in the beginning. Very sad to hear this news. (there is a divorce in my past, too). Praying for you and your family. You are young and strong and you will be alright even though it is so hard. It took me a long time to realize that in life there is happiness and there is sorrow and that you can’t have one without the other. Peace to all of you. xo, Mary

  13. My prayers go out for you and your family. Thank you for being so brave and honest to share this with your readers. You WILL get through this.

  14. Dear Holly,
    I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hate that you are having to go through this. I am so glad that you know the God who is faithful and know you have cheerleaders all over, including me in Nashville. One of my favorite teachers (Chip Dodd) always says “life is tragic but God is faithful”. That seems to get truer to me with every passing year.
    Keep breathing.
    xokc

  15. Just prayers for you and your family – thank you for sharing your heart.

  16. I just love you.
    Praying for you and those awesome boys and your sweet mama and yes, your husband and his family.
    And please forgive me for the sandwiches.

  17. Long time reader here. I just want to say I am so sorry. I don’t know how to help carry a piece of your burdens but pray. I’m so very sorry.

  18. sweet holly girl. i remember when you emailed me & i didn’t believe it was really you and that you were having to walk down this path. i want you to know how brave you are. if you are this brave just writing a blog post, i know those boys see it in you every day. when i thought my world was going to implode-again-back in the fall, most of what made me even more frustrated and fearful of the new situation was that i felt not brave enough. and that my girls were seeing that. but being brave isn’t having to do something grand. its just keeping on swimming holly and its taking the next step one hour after the next and then tomorrow again. you’re doing that. i’m just so sorry that this is reality right now for you. you and your family…mom, boys, husband, inlaws are in my prayers. thank you for sharing my friend. and no sandwich offer here <3

  19. brandy yelton says:

    Holly, I’m a long time reader and huge fan of your work. I have so much respect for you and your transparency on your blog. I will be praying for God’s mercy, provision, and healing for you and your family.

  20. Brittney knight says:

    Holly my heart hurts right along with you. You did not owe us this, but thank you so much for allowing us unseen supporters in your life to come alongside you, to love you and pray for you.

  21. I am so sorry that you and your children are hurting. I wish you all the best in adjusting to, and eventually embracing, your new reality. I know you will use your gifts to make a wonderful home and life that is just right for you and your boys.

  22. I’m just a faithful reader of your blog, but I felt compelled to let you know I’ll be praying for you and your boys fervently. Speaking of Brene Brown and the Theodore Roosevelt quote she references so brilliantly in her work, you are “DARING GREATLY” dear Holly. I believe that you have shared this with grace. courage, and transparency.

    So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

    God’s peace to you and your family.

  23. Suzanne Severns says:

    Holly,
    We’re so glad you told us.
    Holding up your entire family in prayer, friend.
    May His peace surround you and the boys.

  24. Love and prayers to you as you navigate through this painful time.

  25. Holly, I am so so sorry. I am praying for you, your boys and the rest of your family. I loved what you said about houses not making us happy… So true and such a good reminder. God has given you such talent in decorating and I will pray that He will allow you to continue to do what you love and that you will feel His presence deeply.

  26. Praying for the well being of your entire family and for strength. I hope it helps you to know that “strangers” are holding you in their hearts.

  27. I am so sorry you and your children are going through this really tough time. I will be praying for your family. Nothing is impossible with God and maybe, just maybe your husbands heart will change.

  28. I am so sorry that life has dealt you this blow. Reading it brought back the kicked in the gut feeling that I had when my husband moved out. But through the grace of God today I am stronger because of the experience. I still hate “character building” experiences! Wish they didn’t happen! But they do…
    My prayers are with you Holly.

  29. We love you Holly to the moon and back.
    Xoxo Diana et al

  30. chrissi says:

    prayers for each of you. take care sweet girl.

  31. Allison says:

    Holly, I’m so sorry you are going through this. My 2 cents are this: you’ll have good days and bad, and that’s OK. It hurts to make the transition, but eventually it will hurt less. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and remember that each day is a fresh start. And don’t forget to take time out once in a while for yourself. Hang in there.

  32. Holly,
    I’m so sorry. Divorce is a hard thing. I noticed you hadn’t posted in awhile and this morning when I looked to see if you had posted (and you hadn’t yet), I almost send you an email to encourage because I felt God telling me to pray for you. We don’t know each other but we are sisters in Christ and I’m holding you and your family up.
    Lori

  33. Your design, your houses, have brought me joy. That is not menial. It is is important. Thank you for sharing. I love the video about empathy. It makes me think of Job. His friends came to him and at first they did everything right. They sat with him for a WEEK. They shaved their heads, they tore their clothes. Hey empathized. Then they went and messed it up and opened their big mouths. I am sitting here with you. Sitting in compassionate silence. And I’ll be waiting for your posts, with no judgement for posts on pretty, and what seems from the outside, petty things. Because you have put a smile on my face more times than I can count. You have inspired me to make my own house a place that feels like home. Even if it is fleeting. I’ll say prayers for peace in the hearts of all your family.

  34. really appreciate your honesty and wish you all the best. thinking of you and sending prayers.

  35. I’m so sorry. Life is hard. You are strong. Children are amazingly resilient. Surround yourself with all the beautiful people and situations you can find. Ignore as much of the negative. May God be with you!

  36. Miss Holly, I am sending you virtual hugs and very real prayers from my little corner of the world to yours.

  37. love and peace to you all…donna

  38. Holly….I am sending prayers for you all. I have found such joy in reading your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your love of homes on this blog. My prayer for you is that your sweet heart heals. I wish you joy. Thank you for sharing and being so darn genuine….which is not always the case in blog land. One day at a time!

  39. Leslie Williams says:

    Holly,
    You are so brave and so loved! Thank you for sharing your heart with us. God’s glory will come from this and I can’t wait until you share that with us. Praying for you and your family.

  40. Holly, thank you for having the courage to share this. Praying for peace in your family at this incredibly challenging time.

  41. I went through this too. Find ways to take care of yourself, because then you will be able to take care of everything else. You may not see it now, but you will get through this stronger. By all means, be kind to yourself.

  42. So sorry to hear your sad news. Praying for you all..

  43. Holly,
    While I initially came to your blog/site because of your beautiful design work, I love your heart. You are always so honest and point to Christ in all you do. It is so refreshing and encouraging to me. I am glad you are so brave and were able to get this out in the open. I pray that this unveiling brings a sense of peace, and allows you to move beyond it more freely. I am so sorry you are in the midst of such a difficult time.

  44. Holly – God doesn’t hate anything! I am sending you thoughts of peace, strength, comfort and in time, appreciation for new beginnings for your children and the rest of your family.

  45. Prayers for you and your boys!!!

  46. Oh Holly, I hate this for you. One of my very good friends just went through the same thing, and I had the hardest time wrapping my head around it. I can’t imagine the heartache you are experiencing, and I know your boys are at the center of it. I can’t offer anything but my thoughts and prayers, but please know you have them. You are brave and strong, and I admire you in so many ways. I hope you find a renewed creativity through your struggles and are able to shine even more than you have! You continue to inspire us all!

  47. Holly, I too went through a divorce many years ago. It was tragic and awful, and I never in a million (gajillion) years thought I would be a “divorced person.” Sounds like you can relate to that sentiment.

    We had so many “couple friends” who were so saddened by our break-up. I remember one of them saying to me through tears – when she learned the news – “But, but, but – y’all were so PERFECT!” Um, nope.

    There is a story, and likely some pain, behind every perfectly posed Christmas postcard. What courage you have to be “authentic” and share your story. Rest assured that those who read your blog have only been drawn closer to you through your sharing. Brene Brown (love her) is right.

    When I went through my divorce, a friend told me, “I know it’s hard to believe, but one day you’re going to be driving down the road and a fun song is going to come on, and you are going to smile and sing along and dance in your seat. And you’re going to think, ‘Hey, I’m happy again!'”

    I wish that for you sooner rather than later. Much love.

  48. What a brave thing you have done in sharing your story. I pray it only makes you stronger and your burden a bit lighter as you keep swimming. No doubt that it is touching hearts who desperately need to know God. You are dearly loved, Holly.

  49. Holly, I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. Your honesty is brave and you are strong. We are all just people doing the very best we can every day. No judgement from us. You all will be in my thoughts.

  50. Michele says:

    Holly, We’ve never met and likely never will. Oddly you’ve been on my heart for a few weeks, wondering if you’re ok. I’ll keep praying. Your love for Christ has drawn me to you because you’ve never been all about “stuff” and your transparency, honesty and commitment to Christ through these dark days glorify Him and bring blessing to me. xoxo

  51. Katie Walden says:

    Praying for you Holly, for peace and comfort, for renewed strength, for joy to find you in the midst.
    “Oh joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee. I trace the rainbow through the rain. And know the promise is not vain, that morn shall tearless be.”

  52. Holly…so thankful you’ve got people in the arena with you, loving and supporting you. I’m so sorry this is the journey you are walking. Thankful you feel God close to you…will pray for you, the boys, your husband, and the families.

  53. Holly, you have been my go to inspiration on our own renovation. Although we’ve never met, I connect with you in this space where you’ve been brave and have shared. Thank you for your authenticity. (That’s my word for 2015). Ive already passed along the video, so already through this difficult time you are touching many. Prayers for you, the kids, your husband, and the families.

  54. Sharon @ Elizabeth & Co. says:

    Oh Holly, I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. It will be difficult, but I know you will all come out stronger on the other side .Just take it one day at a time.

  55. I’ve went through this with my own (3) boys. It is very hard. I honestly didn’t know if I could handle it, But I made it, and I know you will too. Don’t rush into anything, for awhile it will be just getting through the day. But it gets better, I promise. I’ll keep you and your boys in my prayers.

  56. God will give your family a way through this. Keep your children close to your heart, and your faith closer.

  57. KellyBalch says:

    Oh Holly I am praying for you, your husband and the boys. I’m a longtime follower, all the way back to the Southern Living boards! I know you are strong in the Lord aand He will guide you! I know this was hard to share but thanks for letting us have the blessing of lifting y’all up to Jesus.

  58. Elizabeth says:

    I’m so very sorry, Holly. You, your boys, and your husband will be in my prayers.

  59. Mary-Beth says:

    Dear Holly,

    I am a faithful reader and really a student of your style. You are courageous and so very LOVED by God and your boys, as you know. Your obvious love for your family is easy to see and you wrote this post with grace and poise and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. I will be praying for healing hearts and for joy even in a really hard time.

  60. Yes, we all love your decorating, but what keeps us all coming back is your heart. We feel for you,and you know that we will keep coming back to support you girl. Prayers for you and your family. This IS hard and heart braking, and hurtful and sooo not a part of what you thought your life would be. But your faith and family and friends will help you get through this. I have faith in YOU.

  61. As a Christian and a divorce attorney, I must say I don’t think God hates anything. He will continue to help you and heal your family through this transition. (And you didn’t ask for advice but here’s mine: I don’t believe children are all scarred by divorce. Children thrive when their parents are happy, whatever that looks like. Children living in high-conflict situations are certainly scarred by that conflict, but parents who put parenting first and minimize conflict will raise happy, healthy children who can weather this transition beautifully.)

    Love to you and many prayers for your future.

  62. Thank you for a heartfelt post. Prayers and strength to your entire family! ♥

  63. I am shocked and so very sorry to hear this sad news. Praying for you and the boys.

  64. I’m so sorry Holly. I’ll be praying.

  65. Let me first say that “It will be ok. You will be ok.” Not great, not wonderful. But ok. This goes for your family as well. Every divorce is hard. Divorce as a Christian carries an even greater weight on one’s heart. I was a 24 year old Christian with a 5 year old daughter, no education or family to support me when my husband announced he no longer wanted to be a father or a husband. I am now almost 47 with a VERY different life. One beyond my dreams… but not above Gods plan for me. Trust Him. Place it all in His Hands. He will make the path clear. I will be praying for you and your family dear one.

  66. Holly, I am so very sorry to read this. Your blog is one of my favorites, and I often come and look at old posts for inspiration. My children were just a little older than yours when my ex-husband and I separated. It was an extremely trying time, and we had also recently moved into a new house. This past February marked four years since the separation and my kids and I have come a long way. Lean on your family and friends and hug your boys. Yes, kids are hurt in divorce, but they are also very resilient. As hard as it is, be sure to take care of yourself, and the boys will learn and grow just as they should…even if it wasn’t the ideal you always pictured. Hang in there.

  67. Margaret says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry! I’ve been through it and I remember the hell of it. My entire world became different. By God’s grace I made it out of the darkness. Life is good now.You will muster the strength to be there for your kids. And, kids are resilient. You will be happy again.
    M

  68. I came across your blog for the first time today. I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. I will pray for you and your family and put all of you on my church’s prayer line. Jesus will guide and comfort you if you offer it all up to Him and trust in Him. “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28)

  69. What a brave lady you are! It sounds like I’m just two years ahead of you and wanted to share 2 things that helped me through. DivorceCare is a Christian support group/class that was a wonderful comfort to me. I found all of Leslie Vernick’s books to be extremely helpful. Hope those things aren’t sandwiches! 🙂 Just two things that God really used to bless me. YMMV.

    Hangeth thou in there. It really does get better. <3

  70. Debbie Dabbs says:

    Holly dear, We have never met. I am just a reader that has enjoyed your words, photos, and talent, that you have shared with us on your blog. But, we are sisters in Christ, and I want you to know that you are being prayed for, your boys, your mom….all those that love you and hurt with you at this time. Life isn’t perfect, but HIS love, HIS word, and HIS comfort surely are. Praying for you and your family as you work thru these adjustments. Thank you for being open, so that we may have the privilidge of praying for you!

  71. Katie Morene says:

    So many of us have taken this journey before you, we’re here to hold your hand and light the path. You will build a new life. You will be happy again. Time does heal as does God’s grace. There is much growing required to get there but you will, we’ll be here to listen, cry with you, cheer you on and watch as you cross the line into a new and different world than you expected but a happy, loving world all the same.

  72. Erica Plummer says:

    Love to you, Holly. I know you didn’t choose this.

  73. I am so sorry. My prayers are with you.

  74. Beth Proffitt says:

    Dear Holly, I have enjoyed reading your blog for years. You have a wonderful talent. Please know that I am praying for your family during this difficult time.

  75. Jacki Salinas says:

    As the video said, hey, I know how it is down here. I love your blog, and appreciate your honesty. You and your family are in my prayers.

  76. Just coming back here after my day and out emails…warms my heart and hopefully yours, to see all the love and support for you my friend.
    xo~Jill

  77. Longtime reader and admirer of yours. My heart was breaking for your family as I read your blog and I am sending prayers your way. You are very brave to share your private pain with all of us. Stay strong. It will be OK.

  78. I am so sorry. Prayers for you and yours.

  79. Deborah says:

    Holly
    Look up and all around you, our Heavenly Father has you in his hands. He is guiding you and your husband. He has given you a special gift and talent, it will carry you thru. Lean on it!! And the love and prayers everyone is pouring out to all involved.

  80. Kathy Epperly says:

    So sorry to know you are going through this painful time. What grace you have in sharing this with your readers. Know you are loved and in our prayers and you will get through this a stronger person.

  81. Holly, I am so sorry to hear this sad news. I’ve been reading for a few years and my heart breaks for you and your family. I am praying for you and hope you are encouraged even in the midst of all the sorrow.

  82. stephanie says:

    Holly i admire you so much for sharing and for being so open and honest. You and your family will be in my prayers. I have not been through a divorce, but that is not to say that i have not been through really hard times in my marriage, and i can tell you with 100% certainty that you and your boys will make it through this. And you are right, God is right there with you…he will not leave your side.
    You are an amazing and talented woman and i just know that you have great things ahead of you.
    xxxooo

  83. stephanie says:

    He*

  84. im so very sorry for the pain you and your children are going through. May god surround you with His love and comfort.

  85. So sorry to hear of your troubles. For any of us marriage is hard work. I know because we have been married for 28 years. I appreciate your honesty and hope to leads you on your journey. This will be your journey you just don’t realize it yet. Xoxo to your kids.

  86. Oh, Holly, I am so very sorry to know that you are hurting. I will be praying for strength, wisdom, comfort and peace. Hugs to you my Sister!

  87. I’m praying for you and your family. May God restore what the locusts have eaten. May he hold you and calm your soul. In the mighty name of Jesus. Amen

  88. My heart goes out to you! Take care of yourself and your family.

  89. I am very sad to hear this. Praying for God’s supernatural healing power over your entire family.

  90. Lisa Cohen says:

    Holly, I am deeply inspired by your courage, authenticity and vulnerability. As difficult and scary as it is to practice authenticity and vulnerability I KNOW it offers great freedom and healing…May you continue to see God’s love and grace all around as you walk through this difficult time…..You are never alone!!! You and your precious boys will be in my prayers…..Lisa

  91. Rachel Hood says:

    I have read your blog for years. You are a wonderfully talented lady and God has blessed you with the gift of inspiring others-among so many other talents! Keep seeking His face. My favorite verse (my parents divorced when i was young child) “When father and mother fail me, my God will take me up” Ps 27:10. And you are right, God hates divorce. It distorts and misrepresents the love of Christ toward the church. But God loves you and He makes beauty from ashes!

  92. I am so sorry Holly. I’ve loved reading your blog and following along on IG because you have a flawless style and because you aren’t afraid to be real. In this world of ‘perfect’ images in IG, Facebook and Pinterest, that becomes more and more important. I know this doesn’t mean much now, but my parents divorced when we were younger. My mom didn’t want it… things weren’t perfect by any means, but she believed that keeping a family together was much better than breaking it apart. But it happened nonetheless. As an adult now, looking back, I can tell you this… there will be wonderful things that rise from a heartbreaking situation. Your boys will have a strong, tight bond to their mama for life – you will have the chance to create years of memories with them that they will cherish as adults. They will look at you with deep admiration… now because you’re taking care of them and later because you loved and put them first through something that rocked you to your core. I know this because it’s the way my sister, my brother and I feel about our mom today. She is our family’s heart, our core, and the tie that binds us all together. We all agree that the silver lining that came from our family’s divorce was seeing my mom pick herself up, dust herself off, love us like no one else can and watch her work her tail off to create a better life for us. Your boys will feel the same way as they continue to grow and thrive. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I look forward to seeing your posts and pics of new and fun memories you’ll make with your boys.

  93. Praying for comfort and strength for you during this heartbreaking time. I, too, am going through a divorce after 38 years of marriage……you are so right about the material things not being important. My family is broken and so is my heart but God is still good and He alone can get you through this.

  94. Holly I want to get on a plane right now…fly down and just hold you tight. This sucks. I know the pain of divorce…..you cry and cry and can hardly put one foot in front of the other. You can’t listen to anyone because in the back of your mind all you can feel is sadness and you want to scream at people saying “do you know what I am going through?” I wish I had some soothing words that would make you take a deep breath and say “Oh….ok….now I feel better” but I don’t. It might sound cruel but all I can tell you is that “time is the greatest healer”. One second…one minute and so on until like one reader commented you will all of the sudden hear yourself laugh and it will feel so good. So we will wait and we are here for you and in a year or so you will read this and remember how damn hard it was to write through the tears of pain. God bless you and your family. xoxo sherry

  95. I’m so sorry this is happening. May He uphold you with His righteous right hand.

  96. Courtney says:

    Dear Holly,
    Your honesty and vulnerability are astounding. I will pray that you continue to be sheltered in the nearness of Jesus, comforted by His love, and strengthened by His grace. I will also pray that your friends and family draw near to you and remain steadfast. Thank you for ministering to others in the midst of your pain.

    Courtney

  97. Paula Davis says:

    Holly,

    I’ve been there. I can tell you that God has a different and better plan for you, it’s just not what you thought. Trust in that. Many prayers for your family.

    Blessings, Paula

  98. I am so sorry Holly. After reading your post I just had to pray you and your family and will continue to do so. Sending you a “virtual” hug…..

  99. My prayers for you and your very precious children. You showed such courage and strength to share this and I know God will honor you in the days to come. Please continue to share your creativity, it is truly a gift.
    Psalm 56

  100. holly, i’m so sorry to read about this difficult time in your life. it’s hard, i know. i’m joining my heart and hands with you and calling out to our gracious and loving Father for you.

  101. Oh Holly, so very sorry to hear this. My heart aches for you. Your honestly and candor are refreshing. Our world needs more people willing to expose themselves so that God can be glorified. He will be glorified and from ashes, there will be beauty. While, we pray that your husband’s heart is changed we will also be praying for peace in your heart. As a child of divorce, it’s devastating no matter the age. Just from your post, I know that those sweet boys of yours will get the fierce protection they deserve. Your post is so poignant and I “hear” the sadness. However, this is part of the healing process. Asking for prayers from your readers is perfectly okay. God asks us to seek him and you have. I’ve battled breast cancer on and off (3 times in the past 5 years-praise God, I’m in remission and cancer free again) and my GO TO VERSE is Exodus 14:14. The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still. Bathe yourself in this scripture dear one. Praying-promise.

  102. abby unrath says:

    oh holly. seems a bit impersonal & empty replying to this kind of thing in a “comment” box. but hey, we’ll work with what we have!

    though the content painful, that was one of the most beautiful posts you’ve ever written. your talent far exceeds design, and your heart is your true masterpiece to share with the world. it needs people like you. raw, honest, real. broken, but leaning on our sweet savior, who makes this messy life all worth it in the end.

    not sure what to say to help you heal, to help make the swimming a bit easier–i’m afraid words often fail us when we need them most. if i could skip past the void words and simply bring over a big texas sized pot of soup & batch of fresh bread (wrapped in twine with a sprig of boxwood for good measure,) i would. but for today, know that so many of us–those who truly know you, and those that certainly “feel” like we know you–are holding you close. praying. believing.

    xo
    abby

  103. Samantha H. says:

    Praying for you and your boys. God is faithful and will see you through even this. Phil. 4:6-7

  104. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you and your family. I’ve been there… It will be better.

  105. Holly,
    Feeling sad with you. Praying for you as you take one day at a time. And looking forward to reading your “pretty posts” or anything else God lays on your heart. Lots of love to you and your family.

  106. Holly,
    I’m another one of your readers and admirers of your work… my heart is heavy for you and your family. Isn’t it amazing how love travels over the internet to those we’ve never met but sincerely care about. Thank you for being real.
    Paula

  107. Jeannie S says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Praying that you can rest between His shoulders.
    Deut 33:12

  108. Thank you for being you, honest, real, authentic. You are like a sister to us, and we will be praying for you and your family.
    Peace, Love , Strength and Wisdom

  109. HOlly, I’m so so sorry to read this. I don’t know you personally, but we have been buddies online for years and I just hate to hear of anyone going through divorce pain. I have been there and lived it out publicly too, not an easy road. But,I know you will get through this….with grace and strength that only God can give. He will bring you through the fire to the other side. I’m living proof of that mercy! There is life after divorce, I can attest to that. xoxo

  110. {hugs} to you Holly. I am so very sorry. sending you a text.

    xoxo,
    nancy

  111. You are a brave and courageous woman for sharing this sorrow of your life. Facing it honestly is a big step on your road moving forward. You have a wonderful talent and I have never tired of seeing what you do with it. You appear to have a great deal of support in your life and, along with your faith, it will see you through. I look forward to continuing to follow your personal and professional journey and I hope you will be able to continue to share, at the very least, your gifts for design.

  112. Blessings to you and your family. Prayers to you all.

  113. Praying for you and your family! I am currently going through the same exact thing – your words could have been mine!!! Our faith will bring us through this – we just have to cling to that.

  114. Charlene says:

    Holly. Please ensure you take care of you during this difficult time. Sending healing and positive thoughts your way. C

  115. My heart is truly saddened by your news. I will keep your entire family (including your in-laws) in my thoughts. I wish everyone strength and comfort as they embark on this new and difficult journey.

    Thanks for the reminder that a house is just a house.

    Sending hugs to everyone.

  116. Holly, I just love you, sister. We are all your sisters, and through truth, authenticity, and fellowship, we hold each other’s hands and prayers up to the Father. I love the verse, “The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still.” It seems crazy to be still, but we wait patiently and pray and know God allows all things for His glory and your good. Now, I know this looks the opposite of good, but you just hold tight, pray, nuzzle into the shadow of His wings, and wait to see the glory of the LORD in your lives and your children’s lives. Praying for your husband, too. God HAS you. We are ALL praying for you – your identity is in Christ alone, and He sees you as chosen and beloved. So much good, godly advice here. Just keep praying, just keep walking – one foot at a time. I think this reminds all of us to live our lives in the moment, clinging to Him. When trials strike, know as you glue your eyes to the Father, there can be peace and even joy in Him – regardless of the circumstances. Standing with you and wanting to creep you out by hugging you though I have never met you!!! 🙂 You are an adorable, godly woman. Peace from the Father.

  117. Holly I first “met” you back when your house was featured in BH&G (I think when you had the first baby – it’s been a loong time)
    Just want you to know – God doesn’t hate divorce. That is an incorrect slogan that Christians throw at each other. Read Malachi 2 again, but this time read it in an updated English version (not the KJV) – the grammar has been corrected recently and it makes a lot of difference.

    Secondly – I went through this, and abusive relationships aren’t God’s design. ever. My kids were rescued by my divorce. It’s not always a terrible thing – sometimes it’s salvation.

    and lastly – there will be another house and love and joy in your future, and your kids will be okay because of your strong relationship with Christ, and what you are showing them. God is in the business of redemption. xoxo

  118. I am so sorry to hear this and I will lift each of you up in prayer. God has big hands and He can hold you and your family fast within for comfort and peace on those hardest of days. I applaud you for not wavering on your faith, in fact, it will be your faith that will keep you ever stronger, dear one.

    God Bless You!

  119. Debbie w says:

    I am not one to make comments on the blogs that I read but today, I must. I have been where you are. A husband ready to divorce …had to be divorced. His thing was…I did not make him happy. (His whole family thinks that others are ultimately responsible for their happiness) . He has married twice since….and guess what.. He is still not a happy person. The glory in all this is….I am!! I married a kind man who treats me like a queen! Stay strong for you and your children..I am praying for you

  120. Holly – Your blog is one of my favorites and often encouraging to my faith and creativity. I am sorry that your family is going through this time of sadness and am praying for the God of all comfort to make His presence known to you and for the Holy Spirit to guide your decisions.

  121. Holly,
    I am praying for you. My heart hurts for you and your precious boys. My family has walked through some difficult times with the illness of one of our children and it is SO true–God is near to the brokenhearted. May you love Him better, know Him more deeply, feel His presence more truly than ever before because of the pain you are walking through right now. He is not disappointed in you: NOTHING makes His love for you falter. Walk on, sister!

  122. Beth fridley says:

    God bless you holly! I love your blog and I love your beautiful style. But your heart is what makes you the most beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to share this hard story. Your blog has always kept it real. Your authenticity and kind spirit have always shined thru, in good times and bad. Stay close to all those who love you and can carry you through this hard time. Love you!

  123. I just love you, friend. Your soul is straight-up quality, and you will prevail through this trial. God will carry you. And you will stand all amazed at what beautiful things He can make from pain. xo

  124. Oh Holly…I am just so saddened to hear this. I have been missing you posting on your blog. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers…much love to you!

  125. So sorry to hear that you are going through this. But God is good ALL THE TIME. You are strong when He is on your side. ((Hugs))

  126. my sweet friend, just look at all that love in these beautiful comments from your readers.
    that is amazing.
    i love you~
    becki

  127. april bly says:

    I was feeling discontent, cruising around pinterest, trying to find ways to fix our fixer-upper. I just clicked on over to your site to gather some inspiration to file away for a later date when the bank account would allow. Oh sweet sister-in-Christ…I came away with something SO much more valuable. He’s making us more like Him, and it is so painful sometimes. You just did “authentic” with grace, and gained a faithful prayer warrior. Much love to you on this tough road.

  128. I’m so sorry to read this. You are in my prayers. God will be with you. Don’t be afraid.

  129. Oh, sweet Holly. I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through. Your lovely eye is all throughout our home (finally repainted). I am reminded of your sweet spirit every time I pass by an item you recommended. I pray for the light after this tunnel. Peace.

  130. “The Lord himself will fight for you, just stay calm” Exodus 14:14 That verse carried me through. An unbelievable sense of calm came over me in the most stressful time of my life and I hope it carries you and your loved ones. Prayers to you all.

  131. Most days a gospel song will come to my mind that I quietly sing a few words of as a praise, a prayer or a reminder. During my different times, I sing out “at the end of broken dreams, He’s an open door.” During this difficult time, I am praying for you and you family.

  132. Praying for you and your boys Holly! I hope you will feel the arms of God around you and carrying you through this tough adjustment ahead.

  133. Praying that you will feel God’s comfort, strength, and peace.

  134. Prayers for you and yours. Thank you for your honesty.

  135. Praying for you, Holly! Also praying for all of those directly touched by this. I’ve been a reader for a long time and your openness and honesty are some of the reasons you’ve connected with me and so many others. Thank you for sharing as much about the situation as you feel you can.
    I’ve always loved theses verses in Lamentations when I feel overwhelmed and unsure.
    Lamentations 3:22-24 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

  136. Sherrie Bennett says:

    Oh Holly! I have enjoyed your blog for many years and never posted before, but I just want you to know I am praying for your family in this transition. I went through a divorce many years ago with littles and just want you to know your boys WILL be okay! It is a process with low lows and high highs, but you will get through to the other side a much wiser and more mature mama. Much love in your direction….

  137. Excellent and touching post, Holly. We love you and will always be behind you and beside you as your friends and as your church family. We will continue to pray for you and your family.

    As a fellow child of divorce, you already know that life will never be the same. Some of the scars will never heal. But life will – and does – go on. It’s what you do with “next” that matters now. Don’t get sucked down. Don’t give up. Don’t wallow. Don’t sink.

    To quote the famous philosopher, Dori, “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.”

  138. I am so sorry for you. With much love. Bonita Xxx

  139. Janice Ratliff says:

    Sweet Holly, look at this outpouring of love and support. Many of us have been down there. Hopefully you will find strength in seeing how we all survived and became stronger women (even though we never intended to go down that road). Sending you love, hugs, encouragement and business referrals so you can keep your interior business thriving. xoxo

  140. Sweet Holly, God gets us through the tough stuff. There are no second set of footprints now because He is carrying you. Let Him. Release everything to Him and then let Him take over. You will feel the stress and the pain slowly melt away. Isaiah 43: When you go through deep waters and great trouble I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not burn up. The flames will not consume you.

  141. It has all been said. But as a mom of two daughters about your age, I would say this. Stay strong, and keep your chin up. Mostly know without a doubt that God is as close as close can be. God will not let you fall. Sending love, positive vibes, and prayers, Becky in OK

  142. Although I don’t know you I feel like I do through your blog. Do not apologize for your talent and let it be your strength. I hope you feel a bit lighter letting us all know and I LOOK FORWARD without judgement to where your talent takes you next. My wish for you is that you thrive and flourish despite the circumstances you have been handed. Sometimes when we are struggling we hold on to tight to what we think is life preserver only to finally look up and see we have been holding on to a brick.

  143. I have read your blog for years, and I admire you so much. You are such a beautiful mother to those little boys. I have four (now grown) boys of my own, and I love to see your posts about their birthday parties, milestones, etc. Your love of beauty, family, and home inspires me. I am so sorry that you have to go through such a brutal trial. I ache for you. Life can be so rough and hard to figure out sometimes. Praying that hope finds it’s way to your heart. Take care of yourself and those adorable little men of yours.

  144. Holly thank you for sharing this with us. I’m sending you a cyber hug, I’m praying for your family, and I am trusting and knowing with you that God is still in control.

  145. Kelly Davis says:

    I’m so sorry. My heart broke reading this and I cried out to God to bring you peace and hope.

  146. Holly, I am so so sorry to hear this. As one of your long time fans and readers, thank you for being honest and trusting us to be vulnerable. I will be praying for you and the boys as well as your husband and extended family. XOXO.

  147. michelle says:

    Holly,
    I am so sorry. You are so amazingly sweet and brave. I have been following your blog for so long it feels like I know you. Praying for you and your family.

  148. Oh Miss Holly I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you and your sweet family! Praying for God’s peace and wisdom and so thankful that He is right there with you!

  149. Elizabeth says:

    Just want to say praying for you right now. Bless you!

  150. jennifer says:

    A long time reader whose heart breaks for you! My prayer is that you have others to lean on. You can be transparent with our father! Cling to his word, get out and laugh, know your gifts are there for a reason. There are no perfect marriages! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

  151. Allison says:

    Holly,
    My heart hurts for you and all of your family.
    You are so very brave and I so admire you for this post.
    One foot, one hour, one day…. all one at a time.
    So glad you are experiencing the reality of Jesus in the midst of the storm.
    Praying right now–

  152. My heart is broken for you. Please know in all sincerity that you are in my prayers. I too had to deal with almost being divorced this past fall & it was the most difficult thing I have ever been through. My husband & I are trying to mend our marriage, but I too realized how meaningless all the beauty in my home was if we did not have love in it. I cannot judge in any way or give advice, just heartfelt prayers & love for your whole family. <3

  153. Holly I am so very sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  154. Thank you for sharing with us and we do each care so much for you. Having met you several times and been a reader of this blog, I felt your authenticity. My prayers will be offered for you, your boys and your entire family as you make you way forward. Hugs.
    Maybe I’ll see you at Round Top. More hugs.

  155. Holly, I’m so sorry

  156. Holly, I feel like I could be your 2nd mom. My heart sank when I read the title of your post knowing what you might be sharing. Judging from the loving and supportive comments that have been expressed to you, I would dare say, I am not alone in my maternal feelings. Paula said it so well, it truly is amazing how sincere concern and love can travel over the Internet to someone you have never met in person. I keep checking to see if you’ve written an update ( not that you should ) and to read new comments. Hovering like a mom! Finally, I thought why have I never felt my comments were worth sharing when I have loved reading your blog for years. I am a reader from Oregon who has always felt you were a dear girl whose heart shines bright and clear through your design work. I believe Gid has now given me a comment worth sharing.
    Immediately after reading your post I received the message that a friend of mine had just been blindsided by the same declaration from her husband. After having just read what pain was happening in your world I could not believe my eyes. There are so many ways your lives have parallels. She is also a lovely young woman and lives in a Texas city not far from you, is very close to your age, the mother to two young boys and has a background in interior design !! I went to bed with a heavy heart pondering the why of all this. I could only believe that the Lord brought me this news simultaneously because He already desired to use you and your journey to minister to another one of his hurting children. I felt humbled to be used by Him when I passed on your website to her and her mother. You have given comfort by a connection of shared experience. You have ministered even through your own deep pain.
    Like so many have indicated — I, too, have been where you are with children to love and raise. At the time I was so devastated and in such a heap I wondered how in the world I could parent my children when I felt so weak and vulnerable, BUT God revealed His will in my weakness, He wanted me to gain true strength by loving Him more than I thought I loved my husband. I have attempted to continue to follow His leading and I can’t begin to tell you the glorious life I now have. God is Love and He is Steadfast. I’m praying for you, your mom, your boys, your inlaws and your husband. I so appreciate that you have asked for prayers from your readers and I am honored to do so.

  157. Hi Holly,

    I am thankful to have stumbled upon your blog a few years ago. I always feel like we could be friends. I am so sorry for the hurt your family is going through. I will pray for you. I am thankful that God is drawing you to Himself in the midst of hard. I pray that your heart will continue to be soft toward Him, and that you will know and feel that nothing can separate you from His love.

  158. Chrissy N says:

    Holly, I am so sorry for this. I will be praying for y’all and that the Lord will move in mighty ways to show you His great love throughout this season. Hugs from Oregon!

  159. Christina says:

    I’m so sorry Holly. My SIL is going no through this and it sucks. I’ll keep you and your family I my prayers.

  160. I’ve been reading your blog for years and have never commented before…I just wanted you to know that I can tell you are a smart, beautiful and brave woman and I’m sorry you have to go through this. Stay Strong Holly!

  161. Gods got this one . . . trust him.

  162. I’m very sorry Holly. I appreciate your honesty. May God be your Refuge, Strength and an ever-present Help in trouble for you and your precious boys.

  163. Dear Holly,

    Many prayers from me to you and your children and your husband during this time of loss and sadness. He is always with you, carrying you. He will never forsake you. You are all loved.

  164. Oh Holly, when I read this my heart sank. I am so sorry for you and your family!! I know it will be a hard journey but YOU WILL MAKE IT through!!!! I will be praying for you!! I will put it up on our prayer wall at church! Don’t ever think any of us are judging you, marriage is so HARD!! I have been on the edge of leaving many times. Life so is a journey and you have a beautiful story and it isn’t finished yet. Thank you So much for sharing, we all learn from each other and I love your raw honesty!! So appreciate you being real!!
    Thank you for your wonderful blog

  165. All of us are multi-faceted. We are not just a daughter, a mother, a wife, a designer, a friend, a cook, a shopper, etc., but all of those things at once and as a whole. As women, we have been taught we can have it all. But once I had children, I realized I could have it all, but not do it all well. If I was being a good mother and wife, I usually wasn’t being very good as a daughter or designer. And on and on. Right now, you need to concentrate on you and the boys and hopefully your creative juices will flow again. I am sorry you are hurting. But I know you are surrounded by loved ones whether family members, friends, or devoted blog readers (that’s me!). I am praying God leans into you at this time and helps you get through it. Love, Julia Hackney

  166. Suzi edgeworth says:

    Sweet Holly,
    Your gifts of insight, beauty, Grace and encouragement are big important life improving ones. Life as you walk through these days is hard, rough, unfair and heavy. That is why your gifts shine so brightly in contrast. You advice has made my kitchen mine, in a beautiful unique way … Your eye, advice & encouragement has made many a nervous, stressful day easier for me! You come alongside and make your clients homes and hearts more beautiful.
    Prayers for all of you & yours,
    Suzi

  167. Holly- so sorry for the place you find yourself and your family right now. Won’t be offering any sandwiches, but prayers of comfort, strength, and grace.

  168. Holly,
    I read this last week and have been thinking about you, and finally decided I shouldn’t be a blog stalker this time around. First of all, thank you for sharing this really difficult and trying time that you and your family are going through. Being authentic when things aren’t going well and everything doesn’t look pretty is incredibly brave. Also, I think your work is meaningful and brings joy to others every day. (I know it does where you have touched our house.) Hopefully your work and being creative will also bring healing to you. God bless you and your family during all these changes.

  169. Judy Pugmire says:

    I was so moved by your post regarding your family. I’ve followed your blog for several years, and I have loved who you are- as much as your wonderful design talents Ive been thinking and praying for you and especially your little boys- ever since I read your news. God bless you, and may His amazing grace be in great abundance in your life at this time. Xoxjudy

  170. My heart aches for you. I will be praying for peace and strength for you over the next few months. xoxo

  171. No sandwiches — just a hug.
    Praying for you and your family.

  172. My heart aches for you. I will pray for you and your family.

  173. Praying for you and your family.

  174. Holly, may you rest in God’s grace and the love and comfort of your family and friends. I hope the courage and strength that you demonstrate in this post (bravo! well done!) continue to serve you and your boys well. You have great gifts. May you continue to find good ways to use them to serve God, your family, and your friends, including your friends here in the on-line community you’ve created. “When it’s bad hang on. When it’s really bad, tie a knot and hang on.” Much love to you.

  175. I appreciate your honest and straightforward approach. So true. I think everyone has moments in life where they think “I can’t believe this is me, I never thought this would be me.” Blessings on you and your family.

  176. Oh no. I just didn’t want this to be true for you even as I was reading it. I’m so, so sorry you and your boys are going through this Holly. I know when you are in the midst of something like this it’s difficult to imagine there are good days ahead of you. I promise there are. There is a lovely life waiting out there for you and you will find it one day at a time. And from a Momma who knows, I hope the two of you can always keep the needs of your boys first and foremost because it can be so hard sometimes when the hurts and negative feelings start piling up between the two of you. I’m sending you love, hugs, strength and most of all OPTIMISM. Best of luck to you, Holly.

  177. I will be praying for you Holly. And the boys. This was a raw, truth-filled,beautifully written post. My heart aches for you in this transition. Hold fast … God sees you and He adores you. XO

  178. Dear Holly, I empathize with having gone through a similar situation. My husband wanted a divorce as well. Thinking that I would be married forever. This was not Gods plan for me. I will pray for you and your family. The Lord will be with you every step of this tumultuous time. He will not leave you. It was my faith that I was able to survive! By the Grace of God.
    Blessings and Peace,

    Nancy

  179. I have always admired your designs because they convey a warmth and are interesting and beautiful as well. You have a gift and possibly it will be what helps you get through this. Many blessings to you during this difficult,scary time. You are a very brave and strong woman.God will see you through.

  180. I know what your dark whole looks and feels like because I have been there. There are no words; I know that way better than most. Consider this comment a silent hug, a companionable silence, permission to just be and breathe deeply, and the prayers you’ve requested.

  181. I’m crying in here on my bed, so sorry for the pain you and your family are going through. Know that somebody in Utah is praying for you all and sending all the love I can.

  182. I know God will heal your broken heart and help you establish a new family life…hang on to Him…!

  183. Holly, I am so very sorry. Sharing such a personal trial was very brave. After 28 years of a mostly happy christian marriage, I went through a divorce shortly after finishing breast cancer treatment. It took months before I felt able even share it on FB with friends. But some people will surprise you with their kindness and at times you will surprise yourself with your resilience. Praying for strength for you.

  184. Holly, You so eloquently shared what I went through a number of years ago. Thank you for having such courage. My heart goes out to you at such a difficult time.

  185. Precious Holly,
    can’t remember the last time I wept like this for a perfect stranger. ( First visit to your blog via Nester’s link on 3/14) Oh, I hear and feel your pain! I have had many gut-wrenching times with my husband and kids, too.
    So glad you are clinging to God’s truth and promises-He has been, IS, and will be faithful to all of your family as He has to mine. The Psalms were my go-to prayers in those difficult years and continue to be now for different reasons. I pray that you find rest in His presence, in the shelter of His arms, in the cleft of the Rock of Ages in this season, dear one.

  186. Brandy Traylor says:

    Sweet Holly,
    I am so sorry this is happening. I pray for you God’s peace and comfort.

    P. S. The video? Amazing. What a beautiful way to explain it.

  187. A first time reader. So sorry for your storm. I appreciate your honesty. The grace of God will hold you.

  188. I am sorry for your heartbreak! You are very brave to share–thanks! I pray that God will hold you in the shadow of his wings and surround you with supernatural comfort and endurance.

  189. God bless you, sweetheart. One day at a time, take help when offered and anything that brings you joy is what you should do. Praying for all…

  190. A mess of weepy tears for you.
    Sending you all my love and prayers.
    xoxo,
    edie

  191. Oh, Holly-

    My heart aches for you and your sweet, sweet boys! Divorce is so very hard. Thanks so much for having the courage to share your journey.

    In a period of 9 months, I lost my father, my grandmother, and my 17 year old son. 19 months after that, my husband of 20 years walked out the door with his laundry basket. I can’t put into words the pain I felt. I didn’t think I could go one.

    While losing a child is something a mother never recovers from, I can see clearly now that God had a better plan for me and my children. 9 years later, I am married to a wonderful man! I am typing this while our ten month old baby sleeps next to me.

    So-my advice is to be.kind to yourself. There is something wonderful just ahead. I promise.

  192. Holly, I’m so very sorry. I’ve been there, with 2 boys ages 10 & 5 at the time. I never thought I would be in that position, but sometimes we don’t have a choice. I wish I could wrap my arms around you & give you a hug. Let your family & friends help you when they can, and don’t think you have to be brave every minute. You will find your way through this and your boys will too. You’re all in my thoughts and prayers…

  193. My prayers are absolutely with you and your family right now. I grew up in a divorced home and it has honestly taught me that God works out everything for good for those who follow Him. I honestly believe my life is infinitely better from my parents divorce. It introduced me to my amazing step mom who I love more than life and it has taught me to be adaptable to change quickly and easily. It will get better. And again, we are all here for you in prayers and love.

  194. Holly, I am so very sorry for your pain. I will pray for you and your family as you go through this storm.

  195. I am so sorry to hear this, Holly. You are so strong and brave for sharing your family struggle here with us. I know God will provide grace and blessings to you during this difficult time. I am praying for you!

  196. Oh, you sweet, sweet girl. My heart breaks for you! Last year, my husband decided he wanted a divorce and there was nothing I could do to change his mind. It was so scary. I had no control. The saddest conversation followed and my heart shattered. God brought me the Oceans song a little while after. “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.” People sing this song because it’s pretty, but those words. My land, those words mean something real, heavy. And to say to God, “Lead me to where my trust is without borders” is not easy, or comforting. I pray that He is as near to you as you can feel. And that He will bring you songs and words of comfort through those who are in your close circle. We may never meet, but just know that someone far away is praying for your heart and will see you in Heaven when we get to decorate our little Heavenly homes. Maybe God will put us in the same cul-de-sac!

  197. Holly, I found your blog for the first time through The Nester today. I am sad for you and regret the hard days you face ahead. I offer you no sandwiches (though perhaps a glimmer of a silver lining). Just Zephaniah 3:17 and the knowledge that God is closely watching and will give you everything you need each day. This verse has comforted me on many nights through 3 cancer diagnoses and my daughter’s divorce 15 years ago. We were all brokenhearted but she has since met the love of her life who is almost a son to us. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and will come back to the blog often to celebrate your designs and your wonderful life to come!

  198. Sweet friend,
    As you asked I will keep you all in my prayers. I, like many of the others know that God will get you through this in time. Your boys are so blessed to have you. Hugs from Conroe, TX

  199. Oh, Holly.

    I have no words. This is so hard and I am so heartbroken for you in your pain. Please know that I am lifting you up to the Father, like so many people who have commented above, for peace, strength, healing and comfort. And I’m lifting your husband up to the Lord as well. Know that your followers and friends are holding space for you, covering you in grace from above. Thank you for your honesty, your wise reminders here and your vulnerability. They all demonstrate great strength and wisdom. Thank you for being you and keeping it real, girl. Much love.

  200. I lost my mom last weekend. I watched the empathy clip and it is so spot on. That verse is one I’ve shared on index cards with friends for years, but now I really understand broken hearted. May God put back together our crushed spirits.

  201. Holly, I’m visiting your site from the link Myquillyn posted in her recent weekend post.
    In 1978, with three children under 11, my world ended abruptly and painfully. My husband wanted a divorce, he wanted another life. I was crushed, devastated, scared – I had NEVER worked, I hadn’t finished high school. With him I lived my dream life. Loving wife. Devoted Mom. Stay at home Mom. Lover of our brand new, built per our design (2000 sq ft) home in the country (my dream). We immediately sold it. I moved to town with the children into an 800 sq ft little fixer upper. Petrified but determined to not ruin their lives. We lived. We worked. We went to school. We fixed up our little home. We worked hard and had a YARD! I was still scared but got my GED, got a great job and we lived. I told my cousin, “How can I do this? What am I going to do?” And as we stood on my new tiny deck with a spade and pots of dirt, she said what I will never ever forget, “You will plant your flowers and do your dishes and run the vacuum – that’s what you will do.” I did. There was LIFE, and LOVE, and GOOD TIMES for the four of us. God was faithful (although I wasn’t to HIM but that’s another story for another time). We came through. I am now 64, been married to my 2nd husband for 30+ years. We are grandparents! I am telling you all of this because I KNOW YOUR PAIN. I LIVED IT. You will see the sunshine again. I don’t have to know you to suffer with you. Much love and prayer and care and concern for you and yours. Susan Shipe. Do not hesitate to email me if you wish. xo

  202. Bless ur heart….been there, done that (in 1989). I didn’t want our divorce either…and yes, going to church during the ordeal is hard. You feel as if everyone is whispering behind your back or looking at you. The folks I expected to be supportive and put their arms around me avoided me, and the ones I least expected to put their arms around me did so. I’ll never forget one girl in my Sunday School Class put her arms around me and said, “I don’t know what to say to you, except I love you.” And that’s all she really needed to say. I realized that the folks avoiding me just simply didn’t know WHAT to say. One thing I did was cross stitch one simple word and frame it…placed it on my bedside table so it would be the last thing I saw at night and the first thing I saw in the morning. The word was “accept”. You sound spiritually mature, so stay faithful to a God who is being faithful to carry you through this…He still has plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11)

  203. oh, hon.
    i’m deeply grieved for you and I’m sorry.
    so very sorry that you are hurting and broken.
    I am committing to pray for restoration for your family. it’s not past Gods healing, and I recently was given fountains of grace in a situation that should’ve, according to the world, ended very differently. I believe God is able to move in your husbands heart and I know you do, too. I’m praying for you!
    And so very proud of you.
    Ephesians 3:20

    xo

  204. I just want to hug you and say it will get better. The only way is through it and then be open to whatever the Lord places in your hands. He will not leave you empty and He will be near through every moment. He will fill in the gaps where we fall short for our children and our falling highlights the need of a Savior. He is good.

    I’ve been in your shoes. You can do this!

  205. Holly, I’m sorry to hear this news. I hope this quote from singlechristianity.com will be encouraging to you.
    “The biggest weight of condemnation is laid on those Christians who want to please God and stay married but by some choice on their part or that of their mate, find themselves divorced. Let me alleviate some pressure for those of you who find yourself in that situation; you are more important to God than the union of marriage. Jesus didn’t die for marriage; he died for you so you can have LIFE and have it in abundance. ” – George Lamelza

  206. I am an infrequent reader of your blog & have never commented before. I rarely read any
    “home” blogs anymore, mainly because I find so many of them to be inauthentic. The reason I do like to check in on your blog is because you seem real. I appreciate your honesty in this post & will be thinking of you & your kids.

  207. I’m so sorry dear one! You might find solace in my friend’s blog where she writes about her recent divorce. tammyletherer.com She has grown very much in this process. I am praying for you, talented lady!

  208. Long-time reader coming out of the shadows to tell you how sorry I am to hear that you & your sweet boys are hurting. Your blog has always inspired me, & I love coming here to see your creativity & design. Please don’t apologize for posting pretty things. God has given you a talent to make beautiful living spaces. You are using that ability for His glory! We are just privileged to stand by & cheer you on. 🙂

  209. Holly, You Are Loved !!!

    By your boys.
    By your Mom.
    By us your longterm blog readers.
    By your friends.
    By God.

    Proud to know you and follow you!

    Love, Ali

  210. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this difficult time. I too was married 14 years and my ex husband is now married to “the other woman.” I can honestly say that after all the hurt, I am happier now than I’ve ever been. Trust in our heavenly father and He will bring you through this trial. God has now sent me the most amazing, Godly man. So trust in His faithfulness and timing and know that God will see you and your children through this.

  211. Holly-
    Thinking of you ooxxoo

  212. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this news! Many thoughts and prayers and hugs being sent your way!!

  213. Bev Maunus says:

    Hey Holly
    Honesty, humility and vulnerability always sets us free!!!! God is with you and will walk each step with you. Keep your eyes on Him and He will get you through and over!!
    I have gone to hell and back again but God keeps strengthening my faith and my relationship with. Him through every trial. We raised three daughters and sent the youngest to college. Two years later we have custody of our six year old grandson. Sometimes when I think of the task ahead and the years of doing this parenting( grand parenting ) again I can hardly catch my breath. I can tell you God will give you beauty for ashes and turn your mourning into praising!! God is good and will supply all of your needs.
    Love always

  214. So well written. Wishing you and yours all the best.

  215. Oh Holly… my heart hurts for you. I will be praying for you and your sweet boys. God bless you. xo

  216. Praying for you and your sweet boys. I’ve read your blog for years, thank you for being so honest.

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